Emotional and Spiritual Maturity (Module Three)

May 2, 16, 23, 30 and June 6  (Note: We skip the May 9)

Friday      Eastern 12:00 pm     Central 11:00 am     Mountain 10:00 am      Pacific  9:00 am

                         

We’ll explore our emotional and spiritual maturity as seen in stances we take in relationship to the parish and abilities such as self-awareness, self-control, leadership, and empathy. 

 

Background

 In this module we are giving special attention to the issue of “stance.”

 

 

Advance Preparation

In Session 4 we’ll reflect on your experience of looking at your own stance in the parish and having heard from others. Our work in Sessions 1 & 2 will provide the foundation. 

Here’s what you need to do:

Invite other parishioners to assist you in your learning process by offering you feedback about your stance in relation to the parish. You’ll ask them to have a meeting with you for about 1 1/2 hours sometime between May 17 and 25. They don’t need to do any preparation. We suggest you select people you trust to be honest and kind in the session. 

In meeting with others you’ll make use of these instructions. We suggest that you read it now. That may help you in selecting who to invite and in how to structure the meeting. 

 

Before Session 1

Read:

1. “Loving Critic” section in Chapter 6, Finding God in All Things: Contemplation, Intercession, and Intervention 

2. Loving Critics on Substack “A Wonderful and Sacred Mystery” 

Assignment:

Place yourself in the Loving Critic triangle.

Identify the three most influential people in your parish. Place them in the triangle.

Reflect on that. Make notes. Why did you place yourself, the others in a certain spot? 

 

Session 1  May 2

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 9:30	The trainers will all share where they placed themselves in the triangle. One will describe in my detail how that has changed over time.
9:30 – 10:15	Groups of 4. Where did you place yourself in your current parish? Describe. Where did you place others in your parish? “What are the forces that have shaped you? What has changed over time? What do you make of it all as you look back? What competencies have you developed that allow you to be an effective Loving Critic, to love the brothers and sisters that are in life with you, to “pray more ardently” for your friends, and strive to effectively influence the institutions you are part of?”
10:15 – 10:25	Break – your group will close, take a break, when you return we’ll be in the whole group.
10:25: – 10:45	Whole group. Q&A, comments, discussion
10:45 – 11:00	An explanation of the assignment for Session 4

 

Before Session 2 

Read:

1) Make Yourself at Home on Substack “A Wonderful and Sacred Mystery” Please use the links to read the related material.

2) “Bonding: Priest and Community” at the end of Chapter 3 of An Energy Not its Own 

3) A one page PDF of the chart “Bonding: Priest and Community”

4) Jumping into our place​: Mental models and images on Substack “A Wonderful and Sacred Mystery” Please use the links to read the related material.

Assignments:

1)     Reflect on this – “There are so many ways to trip on the stairs or to allow ourselves a “dreamy dissatisfaction with the present state of things.” It is a decision, a stance we decide to take upon ourselves – “to make ourselves at home under all circumstances and able to turn everything that happens to account.”” From - Make Yourself at Home  and But assimilation is also the gaining of a world by making yourself at home in the culture in which you are living. The lay person going to a new parish as a parishioner or the new priest in that parish would need to take on the ways of that community and let go of the ways of their last parish or the best parish they had known or their imagined perfect parish. To be successful it had to be done willingly. And if done willingly over time an internal commitment would emerge within the parishioner or priest. That movement toward ownership had to come through learning about the new place and making a free decision or it would be experienced as a bad dream in which assimilation was known as losing not gaining, dying not living, being reduced rather than enlarged.” From - Jumping into our place​: Mental models and images 

Describe your process of making yourself at home in your parish (or a past parish you were part of). Focus on yourself not what others did. What did you do to make yourself at home? In what ways did you resist or avoid making yourself at home?

2)     Follow the instructions on Assignment for Session 2

 Session 2

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 9:45	Groups of 4 or 5. Share and explore your reflection from Assignment #1.
9:45 – 9:55	Break
9:55 – 10:40	Same groups of 4 or 5. Based on Assignment #2. Share and explore: What model/image did you select? Why? 2) Describe your process in relation you in your parish (or a past parish you were part of). Focus on yourself not what others did. What did you do ? In what ways did you resist or avoid?
10:40 – 11:00	Q&A, comments

 

 

 Before Session 3

Watch:  Daniel Goleman on Emotional Intelligence (about 1 hour)

Complete: Reflecting on Emotional Intelligence  - A 6 page self-assessment worksheet to use in your reflection. See the assignment instructions on page 1.

Reflect and make related notes: Using the Worship and Prayer map as a source for reflection — 1) Begin with the top three “longings” - does one draw you more than the others?  2) Then consider the related acts of engagement and focusing. Do you make use of them? Do you know how to pray in that way? 3) The map assumes that all is strengthened when we practice the Threefold Rule of Prayer (Eucharist, Daily Office, and Reflection/personal devotions. Step aside from judging or defending yourself in regard top the Threefold Rule, just describe and be curious.  

Optional Resource: Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence: 12 Leadership Competency Primers. In Goleman’s presentation he mentions this as a resource. For those wanting more detail it may be useful.

Also, please keep in mind that you need to complete your preparation for Session 4. The instructions for the meeting on Loving Critics stance.  

Session 3  May 23

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 9:50	Groups of 4 or 5. Share and discuss your thoughts - the Worship and Prayer map . Each person begin by sharing whatever seemed most significant to you.
9:50 – 10:00	Break
10:00 – 10:40	Same groups. Share and discuss your self-assessment from Reflecting on Emotional Intelligence  Begin by sharing what you see as your primary strength and any thoughts on how to nurture and grow that. After each person has shared that go around again and note whatever else seems significant for you
10:40 – 11:00	Q&A, comments

 

 

      Before Session 4

In Session 4 we’ll focus the small group work around two areas:

·      What did you learn about your stance in the parish? Any surprises? How did the assessment of others match your assessment of yourself?

·      The meeting – what went well? What would you do differently?

 

We’ll also spend some time on the Presence in Providence model.

 

Your preparation

1. Use the Presence in Providence model for refection. Consider the four patterns. How do you experience “God’s constant creating and sustaining energy.”  Which is closest to descripting how you are seeing your life now? You may find yourself seeing a bit of each in life. Does one stand out? Is there a long term pattern for you? To the extent you follow the practices of the Threefold Rule of Prayer how does that assist you in becoming sensitive to God’s ways in your life?

2. Make notes in preparation for your small group conversation.

·      In your meeting, what did you learn about your stance in the parish? Any surprises? How did the assessment of others match your assessment of yourself?

·      The meeting – what went well? What would you do differently?

 

Session 4  May 30

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 9:40	In groups of 4 or 5. Share what you learned in your reflection on the Presence in Providence model.
9:40 – 9:50	Break
9:50 – 10:45	Same groups. First, what did you learn about your stance in the parish? Any surprises? How did the assessment of others match your assessment of yourself?
10:45 – 11:00	Q&A, comments

 

 

 Before Session 5

 

1.  Read three handouts on group development.

                    I-C-O — inclusion, control, openness (was affection in earlier forms)

                    I-C-A — Basic Concerns of Any Group

                    I-C-A (or O) graph

Also find them in the Group Development section of Shaping the Parish     Resources www.orderoftheascension.org   

2. Make notes to use in a small group discussion. How have you exercised the I – C - O/A dynamics in your participation in Shaping the Parish? Take note that as a group moves toward the end of its time together (whether it is just one meeting or two years of work) there is a tendency for the phases to work in reverse – we reduce our openness of affection, we let go of a desire to influence. That needs to be taken into consideration by those leading the group and it also requires an invitation to the members to not leave and withdraw before it’s over.

 

3. Make notes for yourself – What have been your key learnings in STP? What have been the challenges for you?

 

 

Session 5

 

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 9:25	Groups of 3. How have you exercised the I – C - O/A dynamics in your participation in Shaping the Parish
9:25 – 9:45	Q&A, comments
9:45 – 9:55	Break
9:55 – 11:00 (or earlier)	We’ll close the cycle and for some their two years with STP. Those completing the two years in one. Group. Those finishing their first year in another. When the group has completed its work the participants may leave the meeting.   The group will first, go around the room with each person sharing one key learning they have had in STP? Then we’ll go around the group a second time and share - What has been a significant challenge for you?