Emotional and Spiritual Maturity (Module Three)

In 2025 May 2, 16, 23, 30 and June 6  (Note: We skip the May 9)

In 2027   May 7, 14, 21, 28, June 4  

Fridays  Sessions begin at 9:00 am Pacific (USA). The room opens at 8:50 am 

We’ll explore our emotional and spiritual maturity as seen in stances we take in relationship to the parish and abilities such as self-awareness, self-control, leadership, and empathy. 

 

Background

 In this module we are giving special attention to the issue of “stance.”

 

 

Advance Preparation

In Session 4 we’ll reflect on your experience of looking at your own stance in the parish and having heard from others. Our work in Sessions 1 & 2 will provide the foundation. 

Here’s what you need to do:

Invite other parishioners to assist you in your learning process by offering you feedback about your stance in relation to the parish. You’ll ask them to have a meeting with you for about 1 1/2 hours sometime between the end of session 2 and session 4. They don’t need to do any preparation. We suggest you select people you trust to be honest and kind. If at all possible have the meeting in person rather than Zoom.. That’s likely to be more helpful and easier to manage. We suggest you ask at least two and no more than three people.

In meeting with others you’ll make use of these instructions. We suggest that you read it now. That may help you in selecting who to invite and in how to structure the meeting. 

 

Before Session 1

Read:

1. “Loving Critic” section in Chapter 6, Finding God in All Things: Contemplation, Intercession, and Intervention 

2. Loving Critics on Substack “A Wonderful and Sacred Mystery” 

Assignment:

                 1. Place yourself in the Loving Critic triangle. Here is the triangle sheet. 

                 2. Identify the three most influential people in your parish. Place them in the triangle.

                  3. Reflect on that. Make notes. Why did you place yourself, the others in a certain spot? 

4. Bring the filled-out triangle sheet to the session. 

Session 1       Loving Critics        

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10 (Pacific)	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 9:25	Two trainers will share where they placed themselves in the triangle. Also, they will address some of the issues in the next segment below.
9:25 – 10:20	Groups – 1. Go around the room. Each share: Hold up to the camara the triangle sheet. Tell us which is you. Why did you place yourself, and the others in a certain spot?  2. If time allows, continue the discussion. Possible areas - “What are the forces that have shaped you? What has changed over time? What competencies have you developed that allow you to be an effective Loving Critic, to love the brothers and sisters that are in life with you, to “pray more ardently” for your friends, and strive to effectively influence the institutions you are part of?”
10:20 – 10:25	Break – your group will close, take a break, when you return we’ll be in the whole group.
10:25: – 10:50	Whole group. Q&A, comments, discussion
10:50 – 11:00	An explanation of the assignment for Session 4

 

 

Before Session 2 

Read:

1) Make Yourself at Home is an article on “A Wonderful and Sacred Mystery”  

2) “Bonding: Priest and Community” at the end of Chapter 3 of An Energy Not its Own 

3) A one page PDF of the chart “Bonding: Priest and Community”

4) Jumping into our place​: Mental models and images is an article on “A Wonderful and Sacred Mystery” Please make use of the links within the article. We would like you to have some grasp of the various models mentioned. 

Assignments:

Assignment 1 -     Reflect on this – “There are so many ways to trip on the stairs or to allow ourselves a “dreamy dissatisfaction with the present state of things.” It is a decision, a stance we decide to take upon ourselves – “to make ourselves at home under all circumstances and able to turn everything that happens to account.”” From - Make Yourself at Home  and But assimilation is also the gaining of a world by making yourself at home in the culture in which you are living. The lay person going to a new parish as a parishioner or the new priest in that parish would need to take on the ways of that community and let go of the ways of their last parish or the best parish they had known or their imagined perfect parish. To be successful it had to be done willingly. And if done willingly over time an internal commitment would emerge within the parishioner or priest. That movement toward ownership had to come through learning about the new place and making a free decision or it would be experienced as a bad dream in which assimilation was known as losing not gaining, dying not living, being reduced rather than enlarged.” From - Jumping into our place​: Mental models and images 

Describe your process of making yourself at home in your parish (or a past parish you were part of). Focus on yourself not what others did. What did you do to make yourself at home? In what ways did you resist or avoid making yourself at home?

Assignment 2 -    Follow the instructions on Assignment for Session 2

Session 2    Making yourself at home 

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10 (Pacific)	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 10:40	Groups -   1. Share and explore your reflection from Assignment #1. 2. Take a break 3. Based on Assignment #2. Share and explore: What model/image did you select? Why? Describe your process in relation you in your parish (or a past parish you were part of). Focus on yourself not what others did. What did you do ? In what ways did you resist or avoid?
10:40 – 11:00	Whole group - Q&A, comments

 

 Before Session 3

Watch:  Daniel Goleman on Emotional Intelligence (about 1 hour)

Complete: Reflecting on Emotional Intelligence  - A 6 page self-assessment worksheet to use in your reflection. See the assignment instructions on page 1.

Reflect and make related notes: Using the Worship and Prayer map as a source for reflection — 1) Begin with the top three “longings” - does one draw you more than the others?  2) Then consider the related acts of engagement and focusing. Do you make use of them? Do you know how to pray in that way? 3) The map assumes that all is strengthened when we practice the Threefold Rule of Prayer (Eucharist, Daily Office, and Reflection/personal devotions. Step aside from judging or defending yourself in regard top the Threefold Rule, just describe and be curious.  

Optional Resource: Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence: 12 Leadership Competency Primers. In Goleman’s presentation he mentions this as a resource. For those wanting more detail it may be useful.

Also, please keep in mind that you need to complete your preparation for Session 4. The instructions for the meeting on Loving Critics stance.  

Session 3     Spiritual and emotional maturity 

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10 (Pacific)	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 10:40	Groups 1. Share and discuss your thoughts - the Worship and Prayer map . Each person begins by sharing whatever seemed most significant to you. 2. Take a break 3. Share and discuss your self-assessment from Reflecting on Emotional Intelligence  Begin by sharing what you see as your primary strength and any thoughts on how to nurture and grow that. After each person has shared that go around again and note whatever else seems significant for you
10:40 – 11:00	Whole group - Q&A, comments

 

 

      Before Session 4

 Your preparation

1. Use the Presence in Providence model for refection. Consider the four patterns. How do you experience “God’s constant creating and sustaining energy.”  Which is closest to descripting how you are seeing your life now? You may find yourself seeing a bit of each in life. Does one stand out? Is there a long-term pattern for you? To the extent you follow the practices of the Threefold Rule of Prayer how does that assist you in becoming sensitive to God’s ways in your life?

2. Make notes in preparation for your small group conversation. 

·      In your meeting, what did you learn about your stance in the parish? Any surprises? How did the assessment of others match your assessment of yourself? 

·      The meeting – what went well? What would you do differently?

 

Session 4     Presence in Providence & Loving Critics Feedback

Session 4    Presence in Providence & Loving Critics Feedback 

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10 (Pacific)	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 10:40	Groups -  1) Share what you learned in your reflection on the Presence in Providence model. 2) around 9:40 take a break 3) First, what did you learn about your stance in the parish? Any surprises? How did the assessment of others match your assessment of yourself? You were to use these instructions.
10:40 – 11:00	Whole group - Q&A, comments

 

 

 

 

 Before Session 5

 

1.  Read three handouts on group development. Note: we also make use of this model in the St. Benedict Cycle

                    I-C-O — inclusion, control, openness (was affection in earlier forms)

                    I-C-A — Basic Concerns of Any Group

                    I-C-A (or O) graph

Also find them in the Group Development section of Shaping the Parish     Resources www.orderoftheascension.org   

2. Make notes to use in a small group discussion. How have you exercised the I – C - O/A dynamics in your participation in Shaping the Parish? Take note that as a group moves toward the end of its time together (whether it is just one meeting or two years of work) there is a tendency for the phases to work in reverse – we reduce our openness or affection, we let go of a desire to influence. That needs to be taken into consideration by those leading the group and it also requires an invitation to the members to not leave and withdraw before it’s over. As this is the last session of the cycle and for some the last session of their participation in STP – we each need to make an effort to stay present until out work is completed.

  

 

3. Make notes for yourself – What have been your key learnings in STP? What have been the challenges for you?

 

  Session 5 Group development & what I learned, what challenges I have

 

Time	Activity
9:00 – 9:10 (Pacific)	STP Prayer Overview of the session Other announcements
9:10 – 9:50	Groups – 1. How have you exercised the I – C - O/A dynamics in your participation in Shaping the Parish 2. Take a break 3. This is your last session as a group and for some, their last session in STP – say goodbye.
9:50 – 11:00	Whole group We’ll close the cycle and for some their two years with STP. Those completing the two years in one group. Those finishing their first year in another.  1. Q&A, comments 2. The group will first, go around the room with each person sharing one key learning they have had in STP? Then we’ll go around the group a second time and share - What has been a significant challenge for you?